but a fellow pilgrim

This Just In...

2009-08-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

I preached!

2009-07-10T10:01:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday I had the wonderful opportunity to preach my second sermon ever. The pastor of my church here in Mexico City invited me to fill in for him while he was on vacation. It was my first sermon in an actual church and also my first sermon in English. I preached on the parable of the Good Samaritan. Here is an excerpt I thought I'd share:

"The wonderfully good news of the parable is that the Good Samaritan is Christ himself! This is the very heart of the gospel and it is what gives us any hope at all and all the hope in the world. If we are going to understand the hope and comfort that Christianity offers at all, we must understand that the gospel is a person. I work at the UNAM with a Christian ministry, and I talk with students all the time who are self-proclaimed “spiritual” people, but who are absolutely against the idea of Jesus as Savior. Maybe that’s where some of you are at this morning. I always try to explain to these students that, according to the Bible, and according to Jesus himself, there is no spirituality without the person of Christ. In other words, spirituality is a person. Religion is a person. And until we know the person of Jesus, we do not know God."

This is surely hard to believe

2009-07-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

-William Cowper, 1774

O, that we would believe this!

Spurgeon on the "Black Words" of the Bible

2009-07-03T17:30:00.000-07:00

I found this quite eloquent and enlightening.

"So the Lord doth add threatenings to commands; for sometimes a black word will drive a soul to Christ where a bright word would not draw it. Fears of hell sometimes make men flee to Jesus. The weary wing made the poor dove fly to the ark: and the thunderbolts of God's justice are only meant to make thee fly to Christ the Lord."

Eat Your Heart Out Hollywood

2009-06-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been reading almost exclusively a mix of books on marriage. It has been a great blessing to mine these books for gold and to think through the joys and the hardships of marriage. This morning I read the chapter on Submission in Mike Mason's The Mystery of Marriage and was blessed by this profound thought on love and marriage:

"To love is not just to view someone as the most wonderful person in the world or as some kind of saint. It is also to see all the weakness, the falseness and shoddiness, all the very worst in the loved one exposed--and then to be enabled, by the pure grace of God, not only to accept this person, but to accept in a deeper, more perfect way than was possible before. Love works for two people, in other words, the way faith works for one. For faith always begins with a frank recognition of one's own sinfulness (called repentance), which paradoxically opens up the way for greater self-acceptance through forgiveness. Similarly, before love can really begin to be love, it must face and forgive the very worst in the person loved.

In marriage, a wife's imperfections are not something a husband can afford to hold against her, but neither can he afford simply to overlook them. Rather he must bear them with her as part of his cross, just as she bears with him. To live with her in love is to experience at close quarters the way she herself struggles with her own humanness. Is such intimate and costly knowledge to be repaid with criticism? No, it can be answered only with tenderness and compassion and borne with a profound sadness that in turn makes room for more and more love. In this way, love not only falls from heaven but rises from the earth. Lo love is to be caught in the vortex of another's humanity, to spiral down and down into the murky, tragic tangles of the sinful flesh, where only pure love can go without being defiled. If hatred often consists in being repelled by mere impressions, by surface characteristics in other people who happen to rub us the wrong way, then love consists in seeing into the very center of the twistedness and sin and self-love that are in the heart of another person and yet not being repelled: holding on to the grace by which we ourselves are loved and finding in it the strength to descend with another into their darkest place. If we love other people for their saintliness, then we do not love at all. Love is wasted on saints. It is meant for the sinner."

A Pet Peeve

2009-06-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

When a band/artist makes a music video using an acoustic guitar when the song is clearly dominated by electric guitar. (i.e. the new Kevin Devine video for "I Could Be With Anyone"). Highly disappointing, Kevin. Actually, this is a repeat for you. You did the same thing (only reversed) in "Me & My Friends". That's just shameful.

Oh John, You Had Me At Hello

2009-05-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

This fascinates me. While I always knew that John Mayer was one of the most talented pop/rock artists on the main-stream scene(probably the most talented in my opinion), I don't think I ever realized the extent of his genius. I went to his site randomly today to see if a new record was in the works, and, I must say, I'm addicted to this organic, focused, creative project he has going on. If only more musicians were as concerned with being smart and genuine, I think music would be in a far different place.

Choose Your Poison

2009-05-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

Found this killer site where you can hear recordings of any microphone you can imagine. The best part about it--you choose the instrument or even a male or female voice that you'd like to hear recorded. This is great for people like me who have limited resources as far as actually listening to the sounds these microphones capture in a studio environment. Looks like my search for an affordable microphone that is good for acoustic guitar and vocals isn't as limited as I thought. Check out this site!

Anybody know anything about the BLUE Bluebird Microphone?

2009-04-30T14:54:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for a solid, large-diaphram mic to record vocals and acoustic guitar for $300 or less. Anyone know anything about the BLUE brand of microphones, specifically the Bluebird? If not, any other recommendations for a good mic in that price-range?

3 Reasons Why April Just May Be the Best Month for Music of 2009

2009-04-20T15:06:00.000-07:00

Do yourself a favor and pick all of these up on itunes or at your local record store. 3 of my favorite artists; 3 of their greatest works to date.

Home Studio, Here I Come!

2009-04-12T20:16:00.001-07:00

Some of you may know that I have been working on recording a Spanish-language worship cd for the past semester. I am recording everything here in my apartment, and it has been a wonderful opportunity to acquire new gear to develop my home studio (which is really just beginning). A few months ago I picked up Sonar Producer 8 recording software (which I highly recommend as it is very user friendly and very complete). My newest additions to the studio are these bad boys:

They are Yamaha HS50M's and, so far, I am blown away by their clarity and accuracy. I highly recommend these affordable, quality studio monitors to any sound-engineer/musician with any sort of smaller project studio. Hope to get some pictures up soon of some of the recording process as well as my little studio set-up.

Now, if I could just get some more microphones...

What's Wrong With the World?

2009-04-11T12:08:00.001-07:00

I just finished reading Tim Keller's short but rich book on the Parable of the Prodigal Son entitled, The Prodigal God. I thought I would share this quote:

"When a newspaper posed the question, 'What's Wrong with the World?' the Catholic thinker G.K. Chesterton reputedly wrote a brief letter in response: 'Dear Sirs: I am. Sincerely Yours, G.K. Chesterton.' That is the attitude of someone who has grasped the message of Jesus."

"Faith Reviving" by Augustus Toplady

2009-03-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

I recently read J.I. Packer's A Quest for Godliness and discovered this gem-of-a-text within. It's both a blessing and a challenge. A blessing because it reminds me of the truth that my heart so desperately needs to hear. A challenge because I spend everyday of my life trying to justify myself in the way that this hymn explains Christ has already done.

From whence this fear and unbelief?
Hath not the Father put to grief
His spotless Son for me?
And will the righteous Judge of men
Condemn me for that debt sin
Which, Lord, was charged on thee?

Complete atonement thou hast made,
And to the utmost farthing paid
Whate'er they people owed;
How then can wrath on me take place
If sheltered in thy righteousness,
And sprinkled with thy blood?

If thou hast my discharge procured,
And freely in my room endured
The whole of wrath divine,
Payment God cannot twice demand--
First at my bleeding Surety's hand,
And then again at mine.

Turn then, my soul, unto they rest!
The merits of thy great High Priest
Have bought thy liberty;
Trust in his efficacious blood,
Nor fear thy banishment from God,
Since Jesus died for thee.

Letters of Samuel Rutherford

2009-02-16T21:07:00.001-08:00

I've come to love books of pastoral letters. It's a tradition that has been pretty much lost in our day (with the exception of the late Jack Miller), but I've come to see it's beauty and grace, the reality of pastoral counsel recorded to be milled over and chewed as cudd. Lately I have been reading the Letters of Samuel Rutherford, a Scottish, Puritan pastor who was exiled from his parish and forced to cease all preaching of God's word. Here is a passage from his letters that strikes me as particularly poignant and real. As you can see, Puritan pastors matched brokenness and truth in a way that bleeds humility.

"I see faith's necessity in a fair day is never known aright; but now I miss nothing so much as faith. Hunger in me runneth to fair and sweet promises; but when I come, I am like a hungry man that wanteth teeth, or a weak stomach having a sharp appetite that is filled with the very sight of meat, or like one stupified with cold under the water, that would fain come to land but cannot grip anything casten to him. I can let Christ grip me, but I cannot grip him. I love to be kissed, and to sit on Christ's knee; but I cannot set my feet to the ground, for afflictions bring the cramp upon my faith. All that I can do is to hold out a lame faith to Christ like a beggar holding out a stump, instead of an arm or leg, and cry, 'Lord Jesus, work a miracle!' O what would I give to have hands and arms to grip strongly and fold handsomely about Christ's neck and to have my claim made good with real possession! I think that my love to Christ hath feet in abundance, and runneth swiftly to be at him, but it wanteth hands and fingers to apprehend him. I think that I would give Christ every morning my blessing, to have as much faith as I have love and hunger; at least I miss faith more than love or hunger."

Skinny Love

2009-02-15T19:26:00.001-08:00

Brother's Blood

2009-02-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

Kevin Devine is, in my opinion, one of the greatest songwriters of our generation. This is the title-track off of his upcoming anticipated release. I can't recommend his records to you enough. Buy them all. I know of very few artists who understand, and implement, the tango of storytelling and poetry in their songwriting like this young, Brooklyn-based artist.

The First Time In a Long Time...

2009-01-29T15:11:00.000-08:00

I was in Spartanburg for a few weeks last month, and while I was there I had the chance to go to a house show at one of my old, good friend's house. He let me play some songs in between the other, scheduled bands sets. This is the product.

"Saved By His Precious Blood"

2009-01-28T14:40:00.000-08:00

Recently, I had the great privilege and blessing of re-reading J.I. Packer's article entitled "Saved By His Precious Blood", which is an outlining of the Reformed faith. I believe this was the third time I had read the article, and I could not help but feeling inspired and, dare I say, further sanctified, as I was reading the article.

I doubt that any single article has ever affected my theology, and thus my life, in such a profound and drastic way (thus I exhort you to read this article!). When I first read the article, about 5 years ago, I was struggling with Reformed Theology (or Calvinism) and what the Bible really had to say about the manner in which God brings us to salvation and then to sanctification and glorification. This article was the resource that helped me most in my progression from being Arminian to being Reformed, as it displays a theology that is chiefly about glorifying God. While many Calvinistic arguments are based on arrogance and pride, this piece by Packer is humbly written and Christ-centered. He proposes that we should embrace the theology of God's sovereign grace, not because it communicates a high view of the gospel, but rather because (as Spurgeon once said), it is the gospel!

This essay is far superior to many other articles of a similar nature because it declares that Calvinism extends to far more than 5 points. In fact, Packer points out that the 5 points we commonly accept as Reformed Theology are actually just 1 point, that what Christ accomplished on the cross was completely effective in, not simply provided a way for sinners, but in actually effectually saving those who have been chosen by our sovereign, loving God. Packer cites the 5 points as falling far short of the glory of the Reformed faith, and expounds the wonders of the powerful, effective and saving God of the Reformed faith as compared to the puny, pleading, half-saving God of Arminianism.

If you are a Calvinist, I entreat you to read this article so that you will see the aim of our faith, to exalt God! If you are not a Calvinist, I hardly think you can reject the Reformed faith without reading this powerhouse of an article, which finds all of its potency in the voice of Scripture.

I pray that the Lord uses this article to bless others the way it has, and continues to, bless me.

Eric Volz Re-Tried?

2008-11-18T15:15:00.000-08:00

A current view into the evils and injustices of dictatorships.

M.I.A. Paper Planes

2008-10-22T18:03:00.000-07:00

Elephants...Teeth Sinking Into Heart

2008-10-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

"First Day of My Life"

2008-08-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

Letters From the Late Rev. William Romaine to a Friend

2008-08-06T13:00:00.000-07:00

"...for Christ does not give us a stock of grace, and expect us to improve it by being faithful to grace give: no, no: that is not his way. Our souls must depend upon him, as our bodies do upon the elements of this world. Every moment we must live by faith upon his fulness, and be every moment receiving out of it grace for grace. And this is our happiness--to have all in Christ. A beggar in myself, but rich with unsearchable eternal riches in him. Ignorant still in myself, but led and taught by his unerring wisdom. A sinner still, but believing in his blood and righteousness. Weak and helpless still, but kept by his Almighty love. Nothing but sorrow in myself, nothing but joy in him. Oh! this is a blessed life. No tongue can tell what a heaven it is, thus to live by faith upon the Son of God." -William Romaine

Sparkle City, Sparkle City!

2008-07-13T17:28:00.001-07:00

This makes me miss Spartanburg like crazy. (And yes, I'm serious.)

Where's your city's rap song? 'Nuff said.

Spurgeon v. Hyper-Calvinism

2008-07-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

I recently read a small book published by Banner of Truth Trust entitled Spurgeon v. Hyper-Calvinism: The Battle for Gospel Preaching. You must know, I am a huge Spurgeon fan. I have grown a great deal from reading his sermons and, over the years, have come to really cling for peace and assurance to some of his wonderful quotes about the greatness of God in meeting our needs as sinners. Therefore, I was very excited to get into this book, which, surprisingly, was very personal in nature, and had a great deal of history on his early years as a preacher and some of his early "differences" with the other Baptist preachers in London.

As the title reveals, the book highlights Spurgeon's lack of acceptance in his early career by the greatest Baptist preachers in his area at the time. This is all due to Rev. Spurgeon's unwillingness to waver in his free offer of the gospel to all sinners. That is to say, while he was unwavering in his defense of the glorious doctrines of grace (a dedicated Calvinist), he refused to take those beliefs to an extreme and unbiblical level which frowned upon the offering of Jesus as saviour to everyone (Hyper-Calvinism). In a nutshell, that was the main battle between Spurgeon as a Calvinist and his Hyper-Calvinist peers.

The book is an easy read, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about Spurgeon, Calvinism, or Hyper-Calvinism. In Reformed circles, we talk and hear a great deal about our differences with our Armenian brothers, but we take little time to articulate why we are not Hyper-Calvinists. After reading this book, I have begun to think about these differences, and have become aware of many dangerous Hyper-Calvinistic pit-falls I believe we have fallen into in certain churches and circles as Calvinists. I am speaking particularly of my experiences here in the National Presbyterian Church of Mexico and (gasp) even the Presbyterian Church in America. I won't go into great detail about these pit-falls here, but I hope that these quotes challenge you to examine your church's position as well as your personal life-style or verbal preaching. I should also add that, while I don't know a single self-proclaimed Hyper-Calvinist, I am confident of this book's importance because, in about 99% of the conversations I have had with Armenian friends, the conversation has included a question about why I don't believe we should evangelize (aka Hyper-Calvinism), followed by my explanation that I do and exactly how that gels with belief in God's sovereignty in salvation.

"Read, write, print, shout,--'Him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.' Great Saviour, I thank Thee for this text; help Thou me so to preach from it that many may come to Thee, and find eternal life!' From his own early reading of the Puritans, Spurgeon was convinced that they were no supporters of the beliefs which Hyper-Calvinists claimed-'I have all the Puritans with me-the whole of them without a single exception.'"

"'I am afraid I am not elect.' Oh! dear souls, do not trouble yourselves about that: if you believe in your Christ you are elect: whosoever puts himself on the mercy of Jesus, and who has nothing at all tonight, shall have mercy if he come for it."

"The gospel is 'good news' which God would have proclaimed throughout the world and to 'every creature'. Its message is not simply a statement of facts. It also contains clear, unrestricted general promises, such as, 'He that believeth on him is not condemned' (John 3:18): 'Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be save' (Rom. 10:13); 'Whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely' (Rev. 22:17). so the preacher has not done his work when he has spoken of Christ and proclaimed the historic facts of salvation. From there he must go on to urge the reception of Christ upon all men. In the name of God he must assure all of the certainty of their welcome and forgiveness on their repentance and faith. Thus Paul said to all his hearers at Antioch in Pisidia: 'Be it known unto you, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses' (Acts 13:38-9).'"

"...the apostles 'delivered the gospel, the same gospel to the dead as to the living, the same gospel to the non-elect as to the elect. The point of distinction is not in the gospel, but in its being applied by the Holy Ghost, or left to be rejected of man.'"

"'Repent and be battized every one of you,' said Peter. As John Bunyan puts it-one man might have stood up in the crowd and said, 'But I helped to hound him to the cross!' 'Repent and be baptized every one of you.' 'But I drove the nails into his hands!' saith one. 'Every one of you', says Peter. 'But I pierced his side.' 'Every one of you', said Peter. 'And I put my tongue into my cheek and stared at his nakedness and said, 'If he be the Son of God, let him come down from the cross!' 'Every one of you", said Peter. 'Repent and be baptized every one of you.' I do feel so grieved at many of our Calvinistic brethren; they know nothing about Calvinism I am sory to say, for never was any man more caricatured by his professed followers than John Calvin. Many of them are afraid to preach from Peter's text...When I do it, they say, 'He is unsound'. But I do not care for that: I know the Lord has blessed my appeals to all sorts of sinners, and none shall stay me in giving free invitations as long as I find them in this Book."

"I believe the tendency of that preaching which puts the warrant for faith anywhere but in the gospel command, is to vex the true penitent, and to console the hypocrite: The tendency of it is to make the poor soul which really repents, feel that he must not believe in Christ, because he sees so much of his own hardness of heart. The more spiritual a man is, the more unspiritual he see himself to be...Often the most penitent men are those who think themselves the most impenitent."

"The gospel is that you believe in Christ Jesus: that you get right out of yourself, and depend alone in him. Do you say, 'I feel so guitly'? You are certainly guilty, whether you feel it or not: you are far more guilty than you have any idea of. Come to Christ because you are guilty, not because you have been prepared to come by looking at your guilt. Trust nothing of your own, not even your sense of need."

"Sinners, let me address you with words of life: Jesus wants nothing from you, nothing whatsoever, nothing done, nothing felt: he gives both work and feeling. Ragged penniless, just as you are, lost, forsaken, desolate, with no good feelings, and no good hopes, still Jesus comes to you, and in these words of pity he addresses you, 'Him that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out'".

"'Him that cometh to me:'...the man may have been guilty of an atrocious sin, too black for mention; but if he comes to Christ he shall not be cast out. He may have made himself as black as night-as black as hell...I cannot tell what kind of persons may have come into this Hall to-night; but if burglars, murderers, and dynamite-men were here, I would still bid them come to Christ, for he will not cast them out. No limit is set to the extent of sin: any 'him' in all the world-any blaspheming, devilish 'him' that comes to Christ shall be welcomed. I use trong words that I may open the gate of mercy. Any 'him' that comes to Christ-though he come from slum or taproom, betting-ring or gambling-hell, prison or brothel-Jesus will in no wise cast out."

"These brethren [Hyper-Calvinists] spoke of sinners as people whom God might possibly gather in if he thought fit to do so; but they did not care much whether he did so or not. As to weeping over sinners as Christ wept over Jerusalem; as to venturing to invite them to Christ as the Lord did when he stretched out his hands all the day long; as to lamenting with Jeremiah over a perishing people, they had no sympathy with such emotions, and feared they savoured of Arminianism. Both preacher adn congregation were cased in a hard shell, and lived as if their won salvation was the sole design of their existence."

"Spurgeon believed all the truths commonly called Calvinistic but he did not believe that all the truths commonly so designated had to be presented to sinners in order to their conversion. as noted, he wanted to see both divine sovereignty and human responsibility upheld but when it came to gospel preaching he believed that there needed to be a greater concentraion upon responsibility. The tendency of Hyper-Calvinism was to make sinners want to understand theology before they could believe in Christ, as though 'they cannot be saved till they are through theologians.' But the non-Christian can hear 'the soul and marrow of the gospel', that is, Christ as the Saviour, and see his responsibility to repent and believe, whithout understanding 'the doctrines commonly called Calvinistic'. It is with his responsibility, says Spurgeon, that 'the sinner has the most to do', whereas God's predestinating grace is the subject with which 'the saint has the most to do. Let him praise the free and sovereign grace of God, and bless his name.'"

It's Time to Break the Silence

2008-07-04T08:01:00.000-07:00

With a list.

On our last team getaway, we escaped to a nearby geyser with wading pools to relax and get to know each other better as individuals. It was a pretty relaxing time, and one of the funnest things was that we began asking each other very creative questions. One of my favorites, and one that (as you will see) I am still thinking about is this:

If you had to have a single song looping in your head (like your soundtrack) for a full day, what song would you choose?

As I said, I have continued to think about this. Thus, I have formed this list:

1) Seal--Kissed By a Rose

The not-so-official video

You remember this song from the Batman Forever soundtrack, right? I developed a deep love for this song after graduating high school when one of my good friends and I went to Cornerstone Music Festival. We camped all week right by one of the stages, and every morning they would blast this song over the speakers. I loved the music festival and it really helped me to appreciate this song. Seriously, I can't get enough of this song.

2) Mariah Carey--Always Be My Baby

This was a surprise pick, seeing as I had completely forgotten about this song. However, when a good friend casually mentioned that it was stuck in her head and then sent me the video it spawned a ton of memories and feelings. You see, my first slow dance, which was in the 5th grade, was to this song. For some reason, I remember almost everything about it. I remember that I was at a pool party. I remember that it started raining and we had to go into the dance room of the sports club. I remember how the room smelled. And, finally, I remember exactly how I felt as I slow dance to this song. I was entering into my teenage years and all the crushes and emotions that go along with that. Honestly, this comes in a very close second on this list. Such a great song. Thanks Mariah.

Note: I realize that David Cook's version of this song is very popular. However, David Cook's version was not playing when I had my first slow dance; therefore, in my mind, Mariah's version is infinitely better.

3) Puff Daddy--I'll Be Missing You

Now, before you question me on this, the answer is "Yes, I do realize that he ripped this off from The Police." However, I completely approve. If you haven't already realized this (and you probably have), Sting's version is extremely creepy. It's basically about a stalker. But what does Puff Daddy (oh how I miss when that was his name) turn the song into but a form mourning and remembering the death of a good friend. I will also note that this is the only P. Diddy song I have ever liked. But man, that guitar is so smooth. And then you have the choir that adds an uplifting tone. Plus, the bridge by Faith Evans is just incredible--I still remembered that melody from like 10 years ago.

4) Mims-This Is Why I'm Hot

Now, as far as quality goes, there is no question that this song doesn't measure up to the other selections on this list. In ten years, people will not be including it on their "If You Had to Listen to One Song Looped For a Whole Day" lists. But, I don't live ten years in the future and I am including it on my list. And here's why: it makes you feel cool. Now, some people might bash that reasoning, but they secretly want to sing the chorus-line: "This is why I'm hot, this is why I'm hot, this is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot." This song is fun, easy to sing, and very easy to "bounce" to.

But this isn't just about me! Leave a comment with what song you would choose if you had to hear a single song looped in your head for an entire day.

3 Future Album Releases That (Could) Have the Potential to Change My Life...

2008-04-15T20:02:00.000-07:00

Death Cab for Cutie--"Narrow Stairs"
Augustana--"Can't Love, Can't Hurt"
Right Away, Great Captain!--"The Eventually Home"

Toby G In 'Da House

2008-04-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

Just discovered this gem was online.

A few years ago, one of my best friends participated in recording this American Idol parody for his church's college group. I don't think anyone knew how amazing his character would be going into it. When the video was shown, people flipped out and thought it was the best thing ever. Probably, because it is. So this is P.J.'s (hilarious) breakout role as Toby G. You can imagine my excitement when P.J. called me up yesterday to tell me that he had just found the video online. Enjoy.

"I was like, workin' my moves, that God blessed me with, you know. And I was like, 'oh oh, show the guns, baby. Show the guns.'"

In Music News

2008-03-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

I've been both intrigued and utterly confused the last two times I've been to my local Mix-Up (the biggest chain of music stores in Mexico). In general, they have the same music section titles as we do plus an English section. So, when you're browsing, it looks something like this...Rock en español, Rock en inglés, Pop en español, Pop en inglés, Música electrónica, Música norteña, Soundtracks, Death Trash. WAIT...Death Trash? Both times I've been in this specific store, I have stopped, done a double take, and laughed. I suppose they are taking "death" from "death metal." As for "trash," I'm just gonna guess that it should be "thrash" stemming from "thrash metal." Regardless, the phrase "Death Trash" will forever make me chuckle.

ALSO on my latest visit to Mix-Up, I was enlightened to the fact that Milli Vanilli has a new greatest hits record. So many questions come to mind. Is this just a Mexico thing or is this world-wide? If it is just a Mexico thing, is there some secret Milli Vanilli following I don't know about here? Where is Milli Vanilli now? Where is Vh1's "Where Are They Now?" when you need it?

"Cotton Crush" (In a Big Way)

2008-03-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

Most of you who normally read my blog have already become acquainted with Kevin Devine through a previous video of his that I posted. However, you haven't seen anything until you've seen Kevin Devine and the Goddamn Band. In this particular instance, based on my humble calculations, the band consists of:

5 guitarists

3 drummers

2 percussionists

1 keyboardist

and

1 bassist.

That's 12 people on stage at once.

To Have Too Much is to Have Nothing

2008-03-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

In Mexico, not many places take Credit or Debit Cards. The normal result of that is that one has to watch his or her finances as to not be stuck somewhere without any cash. However, it's not long before one realizes that the other extreme is quite plausible as well. Not only can I not have too little money, but I can't have too much money, at least not in large bills. The average establishment cannot make change for large bills, and many places (for example taxis, small restaurants, gas stations) will many times not accept large bills. Hence my yesterday's frustrations:

7am I need to be at church to serve at our Semana Santa community breakfasts. Since it is early, I decide to take a taxi to buy me some extra time to rest and get ready. When it is time to leave I check my wallet to see what kind of bills I have. Alas, I have only A SINGLE 500 PESO BILL. That's the equivalent of a 50 dollar bill. It is then that I realize that my day will be cursed. Knowing that no taxi driver will be able to make change for my bill (it takes about 3 dollars to get to church), I hope I will find a store that can give me change. However, since it is so early, no stores are open. I then begin my microbus, metro, microbus pilgrimage to the church. Arriving at the metro, I decide to check at a farmacy and a snack shop to see if by some miracle of God they have change. They do not.

10am After the church breakfast I am dead tired and need to get home for a solid nap. However, I still have "no" money. Thankfully, a friend from church offers to give me a ride.

4:30pm After English Club I am dying of thirst. But the puesto at the UNAM is not very well going to have change for 500 pesos. A friend is kind enough to lend me ten pesos (a dollar). I am now in debt because I have 50 dollars.

7:30pm I need to get back to my place quick to shower and change before I head out to have dinner and drinks with a friend. I need a taxi. But twelve hours after my original discovery of my 500 peso curse, I still haven't gotten rid of the maldito bill. Another friend is kind enough to lend me 3o pesos (3 dollars). I am now 4 dollars in debt because I have 50 dollars.

10pm After some delicious proof of God's goodness in the form of tacos al pastor, I lay down my cursed bill and cross my fingers that the waiter will accept this loaded offering. To my surprise he brings me back a tray full of change and I wonder at the fact that I actually have money now. The curse is passed on to some other poor joker who will go an entire day with a full wallet but be forced to live as if he had absolutely no money.

Moral of the story: In the Third World, to have too much is to have nothing at all.

Free Keller Resources

2008-03-06T20:25:00.001-08:00

While browsing for theological resources on Monergism.com, I discovered that Tim Keller (one of my favorite preachers and pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC) is the highlighted "Monthly Focus." Now, this would be only slightly exciting except for the fact that they also offer an entire page of FREE sermons and papers by Dr. Keller! This includes Keller's "Defeater" sermons (complete with study guides), which are the basis for his new book The Reason for God, sermons on "The Cross of Christ," sermons on "Smashing False Idols," and a 12-semonn series entitled "Redeemer's Vision Campaign: A Season of Covenant Renewal."

This will keep me occupied and happy for a good, long while.

I just ordered these books...

2008-03-03T19:16:00.000-08:00

and my parents are going to bring them down in late March.

Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon

Monkey Hunting by Cristina Garcia

The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Tim Keller

The Question of God: C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud Debate God, Love, Sex, and the Meaning of Life by Armand M. Nicholi Jr.

Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas by Chuck Klosterman

A Royal "Waste" of Time: The Splendor of Worshiping God and Being Church for the World by Marva J. Dawn

The Pastor in Prayer by Charles Spurgeon

The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World by David F. Wells

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

This just in...

2008-03-02T21:22:00.000-08:00

In Mexico, handcuffs are referred to as "esposas."

Translation=wives.

Ouch.

Black Coffee

2008-03-02T13:53:00.001-08:00

It's been a while since I've posted any poetry. Honestly, I haven't written much since I graduated, but it is still something that I really enjoy. While flipping through a notebook to begin writing a Bible Study today, I found this poem that I wrote a month or two ago in a coffee shop. I really appreciate how the meaning still connects with me months after I wrote it, and it has even taken on new forms of meaning that I couldn't have had in mind when I wrote it. Such is the nature and beauty of poetry.

Black Coffee

There’s a soft folk song on the radio.
The feminine melody has me wanting to fall in love.
“Sometimes I pray for you” connects deep down
and gives me hope that I’m not alone. Gives
me hope that I’m not the only one longing
to be joined—pulled out of the lonely abyss
to empathy and passion and mirrored selflessness.

I take my coffee black.
B – L – A – C – K
It is the purest color.
P – U – R – I – T – Y

It is the most pleasingly bitter taste my tongue
has ever interpreted. I cannot help but find
sweet comfort in the physical.

Spurgeon's Love of Cigars

2008-02-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

"When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God and have blessed His name." -Charles Spurgeon

While browsing a webpage full of resources by one of history's greatest preachers and pastors, Charles Spurgeon, I stumbled upon a complete page dedicated to his love of fine cigars. The following is just one of various excerpts from newspapers and biographies dedicated to this hobby.

The incident was reported in a church magazine, Christian World, on September 25, 1874:

LAST Sunday evening, Mr. Spurgeon, before beginning his sermon, announced that he should not preach long that night, because he wished his friend Mr. Pentecost, who was on the platform, to say a few words to the congregation.

Mr. Spurgeon then gave a very earnest address on the words, "I cried with my whole heart; hear me, O Lord; I will keep Thy statutes. I cried unto Thee; save me, and I shall keep Thy testimonies." (Ps. cxix. 145-6.)

He spoke strongly and plainly upon the necessity of giving up sin, in order to success in prayer for "quickening," and as an evidence of sincerity. Mr. Spurgeon, in concluding his discourse, said, "Now then, perhaps Brother Pentecost will give you the application of that sermon."

"Brother Pentecost" is an "open communion" Baptist minister, of the American city of Boston. He responded at once to Mr. Spurgeon's call, and, stepping to the front of the platform, gave some excellent remarks on the latter portion of the text, with much simplicity and force of manner.

Referring to one part of Mr. Spurgeon's sermon, he gave us an interesting bit of personal experience. He said that some years ago, he had had the cry awakened in his heart, "Quicken Thou me." He desired to be more completely delivered from sin, and he prayed that God would show him anything which prevented his more complete devotion to Him. He was willing, he thought, to give up anything or everything if only he might realise the desire of his heart.

"Well," said he, amidst the profound silence and attention of the immense congregation, "what do you think it was that the Lord required of me? He did not touch me in my church, my family, my property, or my passions. But one thing I liked exceedingly—the best cigar which could be bought."

He then told us that the thought came into his mind, could he relinquish this indulgence, if its relinquishment would advance his piety? He tried to dismiss the idea as a mere fancy or scruple, but it came again and again to him, and he was satisfied that it was the still small voice which was speaking.

He remembered having given up smoking by the wish of his ministerial brethren, when he was twenty-one years of age, for four years. But then, he had resumed the habit, for he declared during that four years he never saw or smelt a cigar which he did not want to smoke. How, however, he felt it to be his duty to give it up again, and so unequal did he feel to the self-denial, that he "took his cigar-box before the Lord," and cried to Him for help. This help he intimated had been given, and the habit renounced.

Mr. Spurgeon, whose smoking propensities are pretty well known, instantly rose at the conclusion of Mr. Pentecost's address, and, with a somewhat playful smile, said,

"Well, dear friends, you know that some men can do to the glory of God what to other men would be sin. And notwithstanding what brother Pentecost has said, I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God before I go to bed to-night."If anybody can show me in the Bible the command, 'Thou shalt not smoke,' I am ready to keep it; but I haven't found it yet. I find ten commandments, and it's as much as I can do to keep them; and I've no desire to make them into eleven or twelve."The fact is, I have been speaking to you about real sins, not about listening to mere quibbles and scruples. At the same time, I know that what a man believes to be sin becomes a sin to him, and he must give it up. 'Whatsoever is not of faith is sin' [Rom. 14:23], and that is the real point of what my brother Pentecost has been saying."Why, a man may think it a sin to have his boots blacked. Well, then, let him give it up, and have them whitewashed. I wish to say that I'm not ashamed of anything whatever that I do, and I don't feel that smoking makes me ashamed, and therefore I mean to smoke to the glory of God."

.............................................

The phrase "smoking to the glory of God" quickly became associated with Spurgeon's name. As you might imagine, Spurgeon came under much criticism for what was reported in the newspapers and by word of mouth. This is an excerpt from a letter the pastor wrote to the editor of The Daily Telegraph:

The expression "smoking to the glory of God" standing alone has an ill sound, and I do not justify it; but in the sense in which I employed it I still stand to it. No Christian should do anything in which he cannot glorify God; and this may be done, according to Scripture, in eating and drinking and the common actions of life.

When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name; this is what I meant, and by no means did I use sacred words triflingly.

If through smoking I had wasted an hour of my time—if I had stinted my gifts to the poor—if I had rendered my mind less vigorous—I trust I should see my fault and turn from it; but he who charges me with these things shall have no answer but my forgiveness.

I am told that my open avowal will lessen my influence, and my reply is that if I have gained any influence through being thought different from what I am, I have no wish to retain it. I will do nothing upon the sly, and nothing about which I have a doubt.

I am most sorry that prominence has been given to what seems to me so small a matter—and the last thing in my thoughts would have been the mention of it from the pulpit; but I was placed in such a position that I must either by my silence plead guilty to living in sin, or else bring down upon my unfortunate self the fierce rebukes of the anti-tobacco advocates by speaking out honestly. I chose the latter; and although I am now the target for these worthy brethren, I would sooner endure their severest censures than sneakingly do what I could not justify, and earn immunity from their criticism by tamely submitting to be charged with sin in an action which my conscience allows.

...................................

The matter of Christian Liberty requires much wisdom and maturity. I think that we would do well to learn about the manner in which we express, defend, and cede our liberties from the Prince of Preachers.

Morning Yearning

2008-02-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

Thought I would post the video, which I just discovered, of my favorite song off of Ben Harper's "Both Sides of the Gun." The song is called "Morning Yearning," and, as you'll see, the video is really beautiful. The cinemotography leaves you speechless. Interestingly enough, it was directed by Heath Ledger. According to someone who posted this video on YouTube, Ledger actually asked Harper to right a song for his baby girl. Harper agreed and "Happily Ever After in Your Eyes" (the last track on the first disk of "Both Sides of the Gun" is what came out of the agreement).

On a wholly different note, aside from relationships, I think the thing I miss most about my life in the states is driving my car, rolling down the windows on a warm day, blasting a good cd, and singing along. There are very few things more relieving.

Pierced

2008-02-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

Well folks, I finally took the plunge...I got my nose pierced! I've been wanting to do this for quite some time and I finally felt the time was right. So, accompanied by my good friends Josh and Amy, I wandered into a very clean, very professional tattoo parlor/piercing place in the Zona Rosa here in Mexico City. The following pictures document the results:

Before

The needle is through my nose

Applying Pressure (Ouch!)

After...(sorry, the pics are so small it's hard to see the piercing)

Eric Volz Update

2008-02-02T18:47:00.000-08:00

Most of you know that, for the past year, I have been following the case of Eric Volz, an American wrongfully imprisoned in Nicaragua for allegedly having killed his ex-girlfriend. Eric was released, after more than a year in prison, this past January!! I just found this great interview with he and his mom that it definitely worth a watch.

Man Vs. Machine

2008-02-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

It's funny...you get used to your computer and you start to think that it's on your side.

And then it crashes.

Like mine did at approximately 8:47pm last night.

Oh, it still works, don't worry.

But it deleted ALL of my files.

Thank God I backed up my Hymn Project files earlier in the day. No really, that is not normal for me, so I'm so thankful!

Blindsiding Prayers

2008-01-17T07:35:00.000-08:00

I've noticed lately, something I am completely again when it comes to public prayer, and that is not warning people you are about to start praying. When I was in NYC for Pre-Field Training, I taught a 4th Grade Sunday School with another girl my age. Our 2nd week there (we taught for a total of 4 weeks), a man from the church came in to chat. It was just the 3 of us in the room for about 10 minutes. All of a sudden, he reaches out to shake my hand. I grasp his hand and look him in the eyes, and he closes his eyes and starts praying! No warning! I mean, seriously, I would like some sort of curtesy, "Let's pray." It's not that I don't want to pray with you, it's just that I want to know if we are shaking hands for the purpose of shaking hands or for the purpose of launching into a prayer. Because if I think w'ere just shaking hands, and you just burst into prayer (which gets really awkward for any third parties in the room by the way i.e. my teaching partner), I feel kind of betrayed. This exact same experience with the Hand Shake Prayer occured every week for the remainder of our time as Sunday School teachers.

IT happened again last night. I was having some post-dinner hot chocolate (from Oaxaca!) with the family I rent from. A missionary couple, who are friends of theirs from church, came over to visit as well. I was introduced to the missionaries and we chatted for 5 or 10 minutes about their work with YWAM. The husband missionary, who had been doing most of the talking, finally diverted his gaze from me, because our conversation had come to an end. He leaned back in his chair and randomly said, "Señor," which I assumed meant he was going to address the husband of the house sitting directly beside him. But no. He launches into this prayer out of nowhere. Warning please! IT's weird because in a moment like last night, you actually see everyone but the person praying trying to figure out what's going on. Sometimes you make eye contact, but at the very least, you see people looking around and then a light bulb goes off in each person's head. After a few seconds, everyone's eyes are closed, but you're still reflecting on what just happened. I would love to pray with you, but I'm just gonna need some warning so I don't feel blindsided. I mean seriously, why do people think blindsiding prayers a good idea?

I know I just posted not 1 minute ago, but this just happened...

2008-01-13T17:28:00.001-08:00

I downloaded a FREE David Bazan live show from here. At his shows, he does Q and A slots where anyone in the audience asks him any question he or she would like.

The Question: "What's your daughter's name?"

The Answer (that brought this post about): "Eleanor...she's the shit."

:)

Evangelism and Rock and Roll

2008-01-13T17:09:00.000-08:00

As a missionary, I do quite a bit of thinking about what evangelism should look like. No doubt, if you lived anywhere near the South or have any kind of contact with Christian people, evangelism has affected you in some way. (If you're not a Christian, that way has, I'm sorry to say, probably been very negative and hurtful.) Working with a campus ministry, I also hear a lot of students express their ideas of what Jesus meant when he told us to "go and make disciples of all nations." Opinions here in Mexico range from handing out tracks to "we should play songs at our Bible studies (which are heald outside in a very high-traffic area of campus) so that kids will here us singing about Jesus and come to our studies." Now, the purpose of this post is not to deconstruct these ideas of evangelism. Actually, I'm writing about evangelism because I was very encouraged a few days ago when I opened my Myspace account and saw a bulletin written by a band called Manchester Orchestra about a band called Anathallo. I have been following Anathallo for some years now, and have always been amazed by the mastery their music expresses as the gospel bleeds through every song. I have also had the opportunity to meet these fellows and have been humbled by the integrity between the things they express in their music and the way they live their lives.

The following is, in my opinion, what Christians in a band should be known for. Not for not using curse words, or for not playing/listening to "secular music," but for these things...

"When we started this band 3 or 4 years ago we had no idea what we were doing. Not that we know much at all now, but at least we know a little more. This is in part to two bands that at the time (all of us 17 and 18 years old) allowed our band to tag along. Anathallo and a band called Colour revolt decided to take a chance on us and give us almost every show they would play in our respective regional area. Not only this but seeing as MO had absolutely NO means of making money and no product to sell at these shows, we would of in any other circumstance come back home several hundred dollars in the hole. Anathallo was the "biggest" band we knew in the world, so they would be headlining all of these shows we would play. They didn't only treat us with respect and as equals, they would financially give us the same amount of money that they (the headliners) rightfully made... giving us (the shitty opening band) enough gas to get back home and eventually record an EP. I know its long winded but the guys in Anathallo have been the truest of older brothers to me, carefully guiding me through the idea and concept of touring, helping us in the band make wise and calculated decisions on management, label, distribution, and just troubled soul syndrome that most people acquire while on the road....

Ladies of the Night

2008-01-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

You can't tell me that's not an intriguing title. Late Friday night, 3 friends and I decided to go to the Zócalo (center of Mexico City) to check out the world's largest ice skating rink which has been there for the entire month of December. This is not where the Ladies of the Night enter.

When my friends and I arrived at the Zócalo, the rink looked nothing like this:

"Why?" you ask. Not only was it midnight and so the entire square was lit up with Christmas lights, but there were virtually no people downtown as the rink had already closed for the night. Now, living in a city with a population of somewhere between 25 and 30 million people can sometimes feel strange. But it doesn't get much stranger than living in a city with 25 to 30 million people and feeling like you're alone. My friends and I walked the perimeter of the square soaking in the sensation of living in such a grand, monstrous city and feeling like it was somehow, all of a sudden, all for us. We were the objects of the city's attention. It was made for us and not for anyone else. This is also not where the Ladies of the Night enter.

We were a bit disappointed to find that when the ice skating rink is closed, you actually can't even see the ice. So, we saw the perimeter of the rink, but not the actual ice itself. I am still glad that we went, seeing as this rink has caused a great bit of discussion, and even dissention, here in the Distrito Federal. There was a big stink amongst most of the people I know viewing the rink as a distraction from all of the poverty in Mexico, and that Mexican goverment funds, which could have been used to give people food and drink, were insted wasted on entertainment. However, I have now learned that the rink was completely paid for by private donors. I just read a very interesting article discussing the social implications of the ice skating rink.

In order to get home from the downtown area, we took a main road named Tlalpan. Enter Ladies of the Night. Now, I had been warned upon venturing to the Zócalo that Tlalpan is one of the main drags (at least in our part of the city) for prostitution. What really blew my mind though, was the organization of it all. I was told, "Just look for lines of cars stopped on the side of the road. That's where you'll find the Ladies of the Night." I should also add that this road does not have a shoulder. These cars, suitors if you will, were stopped in the far right lane of this major highway waiting for some midnight loving. And so, without fail, when we saw the lines of cars, which ranged from 3 to 6 or 7, there was always a group of scantily clad ladies waiting to do business at the front of the line of cars. I really couldn't believe that, without fail, every line of cars was waiting for a visit from the Ladies of the Night. I speak of it lightly now, but it honestly made me feel deep sadness at how used these women are and the temptation that their service brings to men.

As we passed the 5th or 6th group of cars waiting on the Ladies of the Night, I saw a police car turn onto the main drag. I asked, "So, what do the police think of the prostitution here? Do they arrest the ladies?" The response should not have shocked me: "Are you kidding? The police live it up. They are the pimps." There you have it folks, a corrupt legal system that actually feeds on illegal activity. Not only are they feeding on illegal activity, but they are feeding on the lives of precious women and the improperly used desires of men. How do you cure a sick system when the very people who should be upholding the law are the leeches that keep the system bleeding and broken? How do you cure it when the very people you claim to want to protect and deliver are the very people you oppress and abuse?

Lord Jesus, come quickly.

Context

2008-01-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

I know that it's been forever since I posted, and I do apologize. You can thank a trip to the States and some great time with family and friends for a lack of interneting. (Yes I did just make that word up, and yes, I do think that it should be an actual word.) The same people who use internet slang in conversation (yes, I admit I'm guilty) could start working in "to internet." I personally think it's a great idea.

ANYWAY, I was explaining to a friend the other day that I actually think about blog posts all the time. As I've had plenty of airplane rides, airport waits, and good conversations with friends lately, I've had an abundance of ideas. I'll start with this...

I've been thinking about context a lot lately. Not literary context, as in where the plot is set, or even the context of a conversation, but the contexts that we live in. After going to college a few states away from home, studying abroad, and now living in Mexico, I've come to realize how much context matters in our lives (and somehow I feel that I've only scratched the surface of the matter). Particularly, I've been thinking about how we grow (or simply change) in a new context without even realizing it. Then, when we return to the "mother" context (i.e. where you grew up or even returning to the culture of your family) we actually see the growth.

In scientific terms (I know, I'm stepping out on a limb here since I haven't had a science class in quite some time, but I think it does help to explain what I'm talking about), the context of our lives can be thought of in terms of controlled groups and experimental groups. In my case, the controlled group would be my home-town culture. That is, my family, my friends, my church, and general Spartanburg, South Carolina culture. Although it does change, the change is much slower than the rate that I change at as I experience another culture. The experimental group of my "life experiment" would be moving to another location (although, as far as I'm concerned it could be a change as small as changing from one group of friends to another). The outcome of the experiment (a.k.a. the data that we note) is then the change in personality, emotion, will, etc. that develops in the individual because of a change in outer circumstances to said experimental group. Only because the controlled group remains constant (or at least virtually constant) can the end result be monitored.

Now, seeing as I am no scientist, it is very possible that there are errors in my whole "life experiment," (especially in terminology) but the point is that we are constantly changing, especially as we move to another culture or life situation, and the changes are best observed when we are plopped back into our mother culture.

To make this more personal (after all, that is what this blog is for, to express personal thoughts), I often feel like I am not growing spiritually, emotionally, and in maturity until I return home and see the contrast of my new growth with my former home-town immaturity. Not only do I not that I have matured in these areas but my friends and family, the livelihood of my former context, express their observations as well. Having put this in a positive light, we must also consider that returning to an old context can also reveal negative changes. For instance, for someone who has always been very patient with people, returning home to stay in a parent's household may reveal that the individual is now not so patient as he once was.

Another interesting facet of context is how we behave differently in different contexts. Although hopefully not to a large degree, we are on some level constantly defined by reactions to other people. For instance, someone who has been known for being at least mildly confident, who moves away for her first job may find that she is suddenly terribly intimidated by her boss or co-workers and it not the same confident person in her new context.

This has been made real to me with the issue of calling this past semester. After coming out of college being very convinced I was called to ministry, having the backing of many friends and family in that conviction, I suddenly found myself here in Mexico with many insecurities about my calling. Fear and intimidation began to rule my thoughts on my calling. Only after returning to the States (for RUF training and Christmas) and having a very encouraging talk with a pastor-friend who knows me very well, did I realize how much destruction to my perception of my calling that fear and intimidation had caused. My gifts have not changed. My experience has not changed. But my context did, and that (the combination of people and culture) was enough to shake up my ideas of who I was.

We cannot escape context. In the story that we have been written into, it is our setting and the characters that we come in contact with. My thoughts on context have not been exhausted, and I know that this issue will be a continual source of discouragement and encouragement. Thank God that I am shaped but not ultimately defined by my context and that His providence actually utilizes the "where" and "with who" of our lives.

Lost in...Not...Translation?

2007-12-08T20:45:00.000-08:00

I had a funny cultural experience today. I went to Office Max to pick up some materials to get organized (file folders, etc.) because, let's be honest, my room is a mess. After picking up a organizer for folders, I was directed upstairs to find the actual manila folders. Upon climbing the stairs, I was greeted by an employee who asked me if I needed any assistance. I replied, "Sí, estoy buscando unas carpetas"--"carpetas" being the word for "folders" in Spanish. The employee confidently ushered me to an aisle packed with 3-ring binders. He pointed proudly to the vast array of 3-ring binders and pronounced, "Las tenemos de varios tamaños." (We have them in various sizes.) It became obvious to both of us that there was a communication breakdown when he was pointing me towards 2" binders and I was explaining that I wanted "carpetas" that were very thin--thin enough to fit about 50 in my holder.

And then something clicked inside the employee's mind. "Ahhhhh, ¡quieres 'folders!'"

"Sí, quiero...'folders!'" I responded...slightly bewildered and smiling.

And there you have it. Translation was against me. I don't know what to think of those times when American culture bleeds through Mexican culture to the point that it actually over-rides it. This becomes very evident in language (i.e. Spanglish), as was my experience today, but is manifested in many areas of Mexican culture. Many Mexicans are frustrated by it. Many submit happily. As an American who hopes to be more Mexican with time, I can only continue to note which areas of Mexican culture have been preserved and which areas have been replaced by North American influence.

Needless to say, for future trips to the office supply store, I will present a confused smile and inquire confidently, "¿Dónde están los folders?"

The Jubilee Year on iTunes!!!

2007-12-05T20:53:00.001-08:00

My band is on iTunes! I'm ecstatic to report that you can pick up our first official ep "And You Falter" on iTunes or you can order a hard copy directly from our myspace page. I may not be in the band anymore, but I played acoustic guitar on the album and sang on some of the songs. Needless to say, I am proud of this record, and I think it has something to offer. I'd love to hear what you think.

Mortification of Sin

2007-11-28T16:09:00.000-08:00

"Mortification [putting sin to death] from a self-strength, carried on by ways of self-invention, unto the end of a self-righteousness, is the soul and substance of all false religion in the world"
--John Owen

Putting Amazing Back into Grace

2007-11-26T18:48:00.000-08:00

I've just finished reading, for the second time, a book that played a significant role in leading me to the beauty of the Bible's teaching on the principally important subject of salvation. The book is called Putting Amazing Back Into Grace by Michael Horton and it is a comprehensive introduction to what is known today as Reformed Theology. To be honest, my memory prior to this second read was only that the book had offended me with its teachings on the sovereignty of God and a completely God-centered salvation. On the first read-through I really had no categories for much of what the book was saying, but it served its purpose; it drove me to the Bible to see if all of this "election" and "priesthood of all believers" stuff was actually true. And it was.

Before continuing, I must plug this book and say that if you are contemplating such topics as "original sin" and "predestination," you will find here a kind, biblical-based approach to these questions. Not only was the book instrumental in my acceptance of the Reformed faith, it was a great aid in helping some of my college friends confront and think through some of these doctrines. If you are already Reformed, this book will make you proud of your history! Amongst the discouragements of church-life, I find the history referenced in this book encouraging and, I must say, it makes me proud of Reformed Christians in the past. Hearing about people who put the gospel, which emcompasses all of life, into action in order to love their neighbors better (and not to gain power!) spurs me on to dig deeper into these truths about God and what they mean for our society.

Some Highlights:

Hiding behind religion

"Religion is, for the most part, our way of covering ourselves, a means of sewing respectability, morality, and charity into a patchwork garment that can hide our nakedness."

This quote really hit home as I just recently read Larry Crabb's Inside Out which is basically a whole book dedicated to exposing this modern state of (much of) Christianity. Going past seeing this tragedy in churches and other Christians, I see it in myself. When was the last time you prayerfully examined what areas of your life, and especially your religion, were simply means to cover your blotches and hide your weakness? The truth, as Crabb and Horton both insist upon, is that the Christianity of Jesus exposes our weakness and inner-ugliness for everyone to see. If I'm not living in that, I'm not living in the gospel. I am also reminded of the Derek Webb song "I Repent" which is a wonderful example of what the Christian attitude should be like. On his record The House Show he gives a spoken introduction in which he preaches that we would all be better off if our deepest, darkest sins were exposed on the local news. So much of our lives are consumed with using things in our lives (especially our religion) to cover our deep crookedness. We confess that we are deeply sinful and only have hope in Christ, but our lives shout, "I'm not that bad! I couldn't be that bad! After all, how could Jesus love me if I was that bad? How could you love me if I was that bad?" And alas, if we would only confront that question, it would lead us to actually believing the good news of the gospel. Jesus insists on exposing our true nature, leaving us only to boast in his righteousness.

Christian Liberty--"an appendix to justification"

It was no surprise to me that this theme is covered in the book; however, the stress on its importance for the justified sinner was a welcomed surprise. To begin, John Calvin considered the doctrine "an appendix to justification." Calvin states:

"He who proposes to summarize gospel teaching ought by no means to omit an explanation of this topic. For it is a thing of prime necessity, and apart from a knowledge of it consciences dare undertake almost nothing without doubting; they hesitate and recoil from many things; they constantly waver and are afraid. But freedom is especially an appendage of justification and is of no little avail in understanding its power."

Wow! Now, I realize that there are many different ideas and levels of importance given to this topic in different regions and churches. To be certain, many Reformed Christians have given too great an importance to the matter. However, in many cultures (such as ::cough:: the Presbyterian church in Mexico ::cough::) the lack of the practice of Christian Liberty leaves a bite taken out of the doctrine of justification. John Calvin's quote hits home.

Horton adds to Calvin's thoughts:

"If one cannot experience and enjoy justification before God, the practical value of this amazing truth is lost even if it is given assent by those who deny Christian liberty."

"Calvin said we need to know our Christian liberty in order to 'recognize his [God's] liberality toward us.' In other words, when I enjoy a really fine meal and a bottle of superb wine with some freinds, I can say, 'Well, I hope God isn't looking. This is the last time I'll do this,' or, more likely, 'Who cares who's looking. I'm sick of those stupid rules. If God exists to tell me where to part my hair, I've had it with religion.' Or, on the other hand, I can silently thank God and think of him as the loving provider of this meal. As we laugh, tell stories, and catch up on old news, it is almost as if God is there at the table, just sitting there, laughing right along, like a father who takes pleasure in the delight of his children. In fact, this is not an image one has to conjure up; one may find it quite clearly in the life of our Lord. God incarnate, 'friend of sinners.'

To be sure, Horton (nor Calvin) do not merely leave the matter in positive light. Christian liberty can be used to sin against a weaker brother or sister. Both Horton and Calvin go into this matter, although they do clarify that the truth cuts both ways, both parties should stop passing judgement. What I want to highlight here is the Reformed stance that living in liberty is actually glorifying to God! We do not have to walk on egg shells as Christians. In fact, that is the antithesis of the Christian life. To explain Calvin with Calvin, "...we should use God's gifts for the purpose of which he gave them to us, with no scruple of conscience, no trouble of mind. With such confidence our minds will be at peace with him, and will recognize his liberality toward us...Its whole force consists in quieting frightened and disturbed consciences before God."

COPS Seasons?! and JAIL

2007-11-19T18:21:00.000-08:00

Well folks, a long-time wish of most COPS fans I know has become a reality. It seems the show finally wised up and is releasing the shows by season! I happened upon this on a whim surfing the iTunes store. They are currently on season 20 having just released the 700th episode. That's crazy to think about using todays standard running time for shows, even really popular shows. Most shows that I've heard of don't go past the 7 season mark (and that's being generous). For all you haters out there (a.k.a. people who have made fun of me for loving this show so much), 20 seasons speaks for itself. And I fully intend to watch all 20 seasons at some point. :)

In addition to this wonderful news, I discovered something that, in my book, has immense potential...a brand-new show from the producers of COPS entitled JAIL. Now, folks, I can't explain many of my interests. Many would think they lie on the depressing side, but I find such things as police, drugs, and jail to be fascinating. My leanings toward police and drugs have been quinched by such great shows as COPS and Intervention, but only now is there a reality tv program applying the COPS style to the prison context. Now, I haven't actually seen this show (as I am just discovering it and it hasn't made it to Mexico yet), but as far as potential goes, it's got what it takes to get me excited. Here's the description from MyNetworkTV.com:

"You’ve seen ’em do the crime, now see ’em get the time. From John Langley, producer of the groundbreaking Cops, comes the next big law enforcement reality series Jail. Shot on location in cities across the U.S., Jail follows prison inmates from their initial booking through their first moments behind bars. Each episode captures the harsh and sometimes humorous reality of what happens to criminals after they’re caught."

Fresa Prayer

2007-10-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

I thought this was hilarious, so I'm posting it, although I do realize that about 0.5% of my readership will understand it.

If you need some help (and it won't help that much), check out the meaning of fresa.

This just in...

2007-10-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

Apparently, my favorite show of all time...COPS...made it to Mexico a few years ago. The amazing part--it was Mexican police. That's right, corruption, drama, bribary...all being hidden from the camera. Possibly the best part of it all...the theme song, "Bad boys," was literally translated:

Chicos malos, chicos malos. ¿Qué vas a hacer cuando vengan por ti?

If anyone ever finds an audio copy of the song in Spanish, or better yet, the show, send those my way!

Un bigote inmenso!!!

2007-10-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

This pic is long overdue to be posted. This is Josh and I at the Independence Day party at our church.

Xochimilco (in Mexico City)

2007-10-22T08:48:00.001-07:00

"You'll Only End Up Joining Them"

2007-10-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered this singer/songwriter, Kevin Devine, through his connection with one of my favorite bands, Brand New. He has brilliant lyrics and pleasant melodies. This particular song is probably the most poignant, poetic, and accurate song I have heard about addiction. Do yourself a favor and purchase his newest record "Put Your Ghost to Rest."

Roomies!

2007-10-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

This was taken Sunday night after Juan Carlos became a member of our church (Berith Presbyterian).

(Jacob, Juan Carlos, gringo)

A Good Source For Christian News

2007-10-04T18:07:00.001-07:00

So, last night I rather carelessly posted this article after finding a reference to it on a different blog. This morning a certain missionary friend brought it to my attention that the site is satirical Christian news.

2 Thoughts:

1) Thank God this isn't real.

2) Some of these are pretty dang funny.

Yes Master!

2007-10-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

"And You Falter" is currently being mastered here. That makes me smile. A lot.

I miss this.

2007-09-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

Exciting News: The Jubilee Year will release a 6-song ep entitled "...And You Falter" in late October. We spent the last year working on it, and I am so excited that it is finally becoming a reality. Be on the look-out on itunes and myspace.

A Few Pics from UNAM and the Center of the City

2007-09-28T08:42:00.001-07:00

"Islas"-This is where we have all of our CUR Bible studies and English Clubs. It's also where UNAM students go to smoke weed. Just sayin'.

The Zocalo (center of town). This was a week or so before Mexico's Independence Celebration. You will notice the huge Mexican flag decoration in the background. This is where the president (or presidents, as was the case this year) makes his big State of the Union speech.

Cathedral in the Zocalo.Bellas Artes Museum with Josh Oettle (fellow intern)
Zocalo with Amy Oettle (fellow intern)
My relationship with Frida Kahlo was taken to another level.
Mexican Nationalism at its greatest. Seriously, we gringos will never know nationalism like this. Apparently, every day, these three platoons come to the Palacio Nacional. "Why?" you ask. To take down the flag.

The Pad

2007-08-23T08:58:00.000-07:00

As many of you have heard, I moved into my own apartment early this week. I really couldn't have asked for a better arrangement--great place with 2 Mexican guys who are a part of our RUF core group. Here are some pics to give you all an idea of what my pad looks like.

The complex.

The building.

The living room.

The dining room.

My room.

The roomies' room.

The bathroom.

The laundry room.

On Being a Missionary and Taking Days Off...

2007-08-13T18:54:00.000-07:00

My very loving friends had this conversation about me today in relation to my taking a day of rest:

Mike: i didnt think missionarys had days off?
does satan take a day off?
James: no!
Mike: THAT BOY NEEDS TO WORK 24/7!
James: kwiki-mart style!

I love those guys.

Nobody's Perfect

2007-08-11T10:47:00.001-07:00

Note:

2007-08-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

Tuition at the UNAM for one semester is 20 centavos. Conversion to the dollar...2 cents.

2 cents a semester for college tuition. Believe it.

Interview

2007-08-10T20:55:00.001-07:00

You can see an interview that I did sitting on Peter Dishman's couch here.

The View From Up Here

2007-08-08T21:44:00.000-07:00

As of late (a.k.a. since I got back from NYC in early August), my Bible reading and prayer time have been given much more structure due to The Book of Common Prayer. If you don't know what that is, as was my position before some great people recommended it to me at Pre-Field Training, the book is published by the Anglican church and contains both some liturgical prayers and scriptures that follow the church calendar. For those of you, like myself, who grew up outside of a denomination that uses the church calendar for Bible reading, this can be a very helpful thing. At the end of the book is a Bible reading schedule to help you read the entire Bible in 2 years. Every day there are 2 or more Psalms, and Old Testament passage, a New Testament passage, and a passage from the Gospels. I'm loving it, and I highly recommend you head over to Amazon.com and purchase a copy if you feel like you need a little more structure in your Bible reading.

I say all of that to lead up to this little nugget of information. Every morning, as I head out to read my Bible, I am blown away as I walk out of Peter's door, take one flight of stairs up, climb a latter, and see this...

When was the last time you prayed for your city with a birds eye view of it? It's a pretty amazing feeling.

Doing It Big in MEXICO.

2007-08-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

These are my breakfast weapons here south of the border, and, as I hope is evident in this picture, they are big. What can I say--I'm proud of my breakfast food.

Well, I've been in Mexico for 5 days now, and it's been a whirlwind, a meticulously self-aware, culture-shocked whirlwind. It's weird because I had forgotten almost completely about this part of my time in Puebla. Basically, I go through various emotional stages every day. However, everyday they get less intense. If you got my update/prayer email, you were made aware of this, and I greatly appreciate anyone who is praying for my adjustment to life here. I look forward to being comfortable here and falling in love with the city. It's quite different from Puebla, and I'm fighting the urge to get nostalgic about my time there.

I'm still staying with the missionary here, Peter Dishman, but it looks like an apartment may have finally fallen into place. I originally wanted to live with a family, but it looks like I will have an apartment and possibly share it with 2 guys from our RUF group (the only 2 guys in our RUF group in fact) which would be super sweet. I've met both of them and they are really great guys with a sincere desire for honest community and edifying relationships--wow, what a blessing.

Speaking of blessings and people who want honest community, today we had our RUF (which we call CUR) core group planning meeting. It was supposed to last from 3pm-6pm but instead went from 3pm to 9pm. Great times. These students are very excited about what God is doing on their campus, and they shared their ideas very freely. In addition to their fervor, I have been blown away by the spiritual maturity of these students. It turns out the CUR group is far smaller than I thought, actually just 15-20 people at this point. However, we have a solid group of believers to grow from. Praise God! Most of these students have just recently come to the Christian faith.

One girl, Monce, comes from a family in which the father is part of a pluralistic cult which teaches that no religion should be dwelt on. Instead, each religion should catapult you to another, so that you are constantly climbing a religious ladder of world cultures and beliefs. In addition, her "faculty" (major) here is one of great Communist thought and presence. So, she comes most recently from that worldview. It was wonderful to hear her reflections on Sundays sermon (at a student gathering we do every week here at Peter's house). She talked about how she longs for her family to come to know Jesus. She also talked about the great fear she has as she goes into a Communist faculty as a representative of Jesus. This year in the CUR we will continue to preach the gospel to her...only it can calm her fears and give her rest in the power of Jesus to change her Communist peers' hearts.

Hero or Villain? Liberator or Murderer?

2007-07-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

In this article, Alvaro Vargas Llosa (who I have come to admire a great deal as a Latin American thinker and politician) examines the true history behind the world-wide icon, Che Guevara. One of my favorite parts in relation to Che's role as the head of a political prison called La Cabaña:

“Which brings us back to Carlos Santana and his chic Che gear. In an open letter published in El Nuevo Herald on March 31 of this year, the great jazz musician Paquito D’Rivera castigated Santana for his costume at the Oscars, and added: “One of those Cubans [at La Cabaña] was my cousin Bebo, who was imprisoned there precisely for being a Christian. He recounts to me with infinite bitterness how he could hear from his cell in the early hours of dawn the executions, without trial or process of law, of the many who died shouting, ‘Long live Christ the King!"

Ethnography of 25th Street Harlem from 9:30-10:30pm

2007-07-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

Having finished what I thought were my ethnographic observations in front of the Apollo Theatre on 25th Street in Harlem, myself, along with Ben and Bonnie, headed back the way we had come. We hadn’t gone far when Bonnie noticed a small group of black men standing on the other side of the street. They looked like they were setting up for some kind of event, possibly a band preparing to play, so we headed across the street to see what the commotion was about.

We walked up on the men and quickly realized they were street preachers. They were dressed in what I can only describe as camouflage tunics. The material flowed like a dress from the men’s shoulders to their feet. Each had on a camouflage hat shaped like that of Malcolm X to match the tunic. Many of the men had well-groomed beards, making them look more Middle Eastern than they would have without facial hair. The man preaching would dictate various scripture references to his peers, and they would frantically flip to the passages and read them aloud. The preacher would then stop them after almost every phrase to interject either his own re-wording of the passage, or a word-for-word hyper-inflected mimic of what his friend had just said.

After just a few minutes, our efforts of hiding behind all the blacks and remaining unnoticed came to an abrupt halt. The preacher pulled out the infamous picture of Jesus (the headshot) which we have all seen a million times and thus recognize as a depiction of Christ. This version, however, had drawn-in horns and the number 666 written on his forehead. The man held up the picture passionately. Looking at me he spoke:
“Step forward my brother. Who were you taught that this is a picture of?”
“Jesus,” I replied assertively.
“Exactly,” the man continued, “this is what is being taught—that this man is Jesus.”

I was confused as to his point. After all, I didn’t believe Jesus really looked like the picture. Actually, I was offended by the picture as well! The man continued, making me into the bad guy with every thrust of his argument. He quickly shouted to his readers, “Revelation chapta 1, versus 12 through 15.”

A shorter man shouted from the King James Version, “And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks; and in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man.”

“A son like who? Who is this son of man?” The preacher asked me.

I replied, “Jesus.”

The reader continued, “Clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle. His head and his hairs were white like wool as white as snow.”

“Hair like what?” The preacher questioned the crowd.
“Wool!” They responded.
“Now, who has hair like wool?” He asked me. I hesitated.
“Is this hair like wool?” He asked as he indicated the hair in the picture of Jesus.
“No,” I replied as I smirked and laughed nervously.
“That hair is wooly!” The preacher remarked, pointing to a black man standing beside me. “Your brother has wooly hair!”

The reader yelled again, “And his eyes were as a flame of fire; and his feet like unto fine brass.”

“What color is brass?” He questioned, looking me in the eyes.
”It’s like gold,” I replied nervously.
The crowd burst into laughter. Smirking, one man told me that he works in a printing factory and that brass is 3 shades lighter than dark brown.
“So, brass is brown,” the preacher concluded.

At this point I realized that the men were making an argument for a black Jesus, but I did not realize the implications of that theological distinction. Their agenda would not remain hidden for long.

The men pulled out pictures of lynchings in the 1950’s. They pointed to the smiling white men in the background and made statements about how my people had oppressed their people. They were right. I told them that I agreed; it was sickening and wrong for whites to oppress blacks. The preacher went into a rage of passion.

“Don’t you think you should pay for that? Should whites not be oppressed for what they did to us?”

A man who had walked up behind me just minutes before voiced his opinion loud enough for it to be heard: “Hell yes they should.”

“When are they gonna pay?” The preacher asked.

“I’ll make ‘em pay right now,” The man behind me prodded. “String ‘em up right here.”

I realized then what was happening—racism in the name of religion. After the men had vented their hatred, they began to make demands: “If you’re sorry, kiss my boots,” one man told me.

I told the leader that I believed Christianity to be about love and not hatred. Looking him in the eyes, I told him that I loved him and asked him if he loved me. He stared into the whites of my eyes and said sternly, “No I don’t love you, I hate you.” He communicated clearly; his Christianity was not about loving me. In fact, he was only out to make me pay for what my people had done to his people (and other oppressed people groups) in the past.

The discussion continued in an organized manner, hinging mostly on random verses from the Bible all of which were about God’s love for Israel. The men insisted continuously that they were the true Israel. They brought out a chart of all the 12 lost tribes of Israel. On it were many oppressed people groups ranging from Africans to Dominicans.

They insisted I get out my Bible and the scripture wars were on. I brought up Acts 10 where Peter is praying on his rooftop and has a vision from the Lord that he should eat of animals that the Jews consider to be unclean. The preacher tried to focus on verses 11 and 12 which talk about the actual sheet being lowered. I urged the people to keep reading. I read from verse 34: “Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right.”

I thought I had stifled them. The preacher quickly assigned a few new verses (never passages, just verses) to his readers. They wanted to return to verses about Israel the nation. At what was perhaps the pinnacle of the conversation we began to talk about hope and salvation. The preacher asked me what the power of God was. I responded that the power of God is Christ which I have inside of me through faith. He continued to look me straight in the eye (which he did throughout the debate) and I sensed a rage I had not sensed before: “You don’t have the spirit of God in you! You don’t have Jesus. Jesus called you a dog!” I couldn’t believe it. No one had ever made such heretical statements to me before. I was more sad for my brother than I was hurt. How could he say these things in the name of Christianity?

After that point, I decided that I needed to try and make an exit at the next opportunity I could. I now noticed many different people than the ones who had been around at the beginning of the debate. A middle-aged woman stood close and to my left. She got excited about what the preacher said, but did not show me any form of hate. In fact, I sensed a bit of compassion in her demeanor. An older man to my right fought desperately against my points and was one of the readers at times. He also looked directly in my eyes and spoke very politely to me. At one point, I put my hand on his arm, and he didn’t seem to mind. One of the few who remained from the beginning was an older gentleman sitting on a folding chair. He had been hidden from my view by the small crowd of people at times, but I noticed his composed manner once again. If anyone had a reason to hate whites, I knew it was him. I imagined the past degradation he must have received in the 50’s.

Our argument moved to a debate over Galatians. The preacher quoted a verse from chapter 2 and refused to admit that Christianity was for Gentiles. He told some elaborate history of how Galatians isn’t really about salvation for Gentiles, but rather Paul was actually a missionary to Israelites who weren’t worshiping in spirit and truth. Since this nation wasn’t a Christian nation, Paul had to disguise his writing as not to expose his underlying purpose. Thus Galatians is really about the news that salvation is for Israel only coming to a people who were not living in the truth of that reality.

I got very frustrated with trying to argue scripture with the men and told them I really needed to go (I had done this various times throughout the debate). An older man stepped up to the front and asked them to let him say something. He looked me in the eyes and spouted off a Hebrew sentence that sounded something like, “Ahem dofu alec tubaw shada.” At that point, I saw a window of opportunity and I backtracked out of the circle that had gathered around me. Ben, Bonnie, and I turned our backs on the men and women as they arose in victory claps and taunts.

Man's Fall in Adam, and the Remedy in Christ

2007-07-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

By Ralph Erskine (1685-1752)

I found this jem-of-an-excerpt through some free online resources. I love its eloquent, profound communication of the heart of the gospel.

"O! unexampled love! so vast, so strong,
So great, so high, so deep, so broad, so long!
Can finite thought this ocean huge explore,
Unconscious of a bottom or a shore?
His love admits no parallel; for why,
At one great draught of love he drank hell dry.
No drop of wrathful gall he left behind,
No dreg to witness that he was unkind.
The sword of awful justice pierc'd his side,
That mercy thence might gush upon the bride.
The meritorious labours of his life,
And glorious conquests of his dying strife;
Her debt of doing, suff'ring, both cancell'd,
And broke the bars his lawful captive held.
Down to the ground the hellish hosts he threw,
Then mounting high, the trump of triumph blew,
Attended with a bright seraphic band,
Sat down enthron'd sublime on God's right hand;
Where glorious choirs their various harps employ
To sound his praises with confed'rate joy.
There he, the bride's strong Intercessor sits,
And thence the blessings of his blood transmits,
Sprinkling all o'er the flaming throne of God,
Pleads for her pardon his atoning blood;
Sends down his holy co-eternal Dove,
To shew the wonders of incarnate love,
To woo and win the bride's reluctant heart,
And pierce it with his kindly killing dart:
By gospel-light to manifest that now
She has no further with the law to do;
That her new Lord has loos'd the fed'ral tie,
That once hard bound her to do or die;
That precepts, threats, no single mite can crave.
Thus for her former spouse he digg'd a grave;
The law fast to his cross did nail and pin,
Then bury'd the defunct his tomb within,
That he the lonely widow to himself might win."

NYC

2007-07-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

This is the 2-day mark of my adventures in the Big Apple. If you don't already know, I'll be here all month as part of MTW's Pre-Field Training in which we learn more about engaging a city with the love of God, contextualizing the Gospel, church planting, cultural assimilation, and language acquisition.

Almost every person I talked to before my plane ride up told me the same thing--"I love New York!" I wasn't exactly sure what to expect from the Big Apple. I am pleased to report that after roughly 4 hours in the city--that's 1 taxi ride through Queens to Harlem to Manhattan, 1 fresh sushi meal of california and eel roles, 1 "sippy-cup" sized cup of Starbucks coffee, and approximately 30 minutes spent walking the streets of upper Manhattan--I declared boldly, "I love this city!" I know folks, that was quick. Maybe I'm rushing the relationship. But hey, I've heard a lot of positive stories of people jumping right into things and it working out fine. Let's just say that I now believe in love at first site. Perhaps my first Pre-Field Journal (we're supposed to write an entry a day) will enlighten you on my seduction by this city:

A few days before leaving for New York, my mom shared a quote with me that she read in the latest edition of The Network (MTW’s magazine). The quote was from Tim Keller in which he said something to the effect that global cities have more in common with each other than within small towns within their own nations. I had never heard anyone express that idea before, and it struck me as ideologically true.

After two days in NYC, I have had countless confirmations of the truth of Keller’s quote. The ethnic diversity and internationally-charged atmosphere spark memories of large international cities I have traveled to such as Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Caracas, Venezuela, and Mexico City, Mexico. On every street corner I have found affirmation that globalization is not just an economic or political subject—it is alive and breathing here in the streets of New York City. A common thought when walking out of a building is, “Wow, this looks so much like Latin America. I can’t believe this is how New York City feels.” Perhaps in order to fit my mind around the NYC experience, I liken it to an infinitely more diverse Mexico City. Here are a few reasons why: Public transportation is the norm. Life does not restrict itself to the insides of buildings, but the streets abound with activity. Buildings (at least in Queens and upper Manhattan) are older and many are dilapidated. If you want groceries, you go to the local corner grocery, not Wal-Mart. Local businesses abound. Street vendors are not uncommon. Ethnicity is a point of great pride. Personal expression is seen as a key component of freedom. Strange smells linger in random spots on the street.

What I would describe as warmth which resonates from diversity excites me for ministry and learning how to love all of these different people groups. I am encouraged by MTW’s approach to learn how to contextualize the gospel without sacrificing our theology. Adversely, I am discouraged by Union Theological Seminary’s apparent approach of pluralistic faux-acceptance of all in an attempt to avoid conflict and simply “tolerate” everyone. I am thankful that the Lord has revealed to me that this is a very shallow means to acceptance in which we strive at the very most to avoid judging people. This leads to neutered love in which we have nothing but our own will-power to conjure up the goodness to accept people. But praise be to God that in the Gospel, Christ not only demands that we love our neighbors, but he enables us to do just that. Just as our sin was far worse than we ever thought, and just as Christ was far kinder to us than we ever imagined, we see that our neighbors are in need of this very same medicine. Oh that our sinful hearts would yield to goodness and have ever-present on our minds both our neighbors’ need for the Gospel and our own. Surely then we would live in shalom. Surely then we would live in the kingdom come.

Gems from a Reformission Rev.

2007-06-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

I've been reading Mark Driscoll's book Confessions of a Reformission Rev. Driscoll is a Reformed pastor who started a successful church in Seattle. He's also "The Cussing Pastor" from Blue Like Jazz (gasp!). Admittedly, the first 70 pages or so only moderately kept my attention. But, the second half of the book sucked me in with some really intertaining stories and statements--what I hold to be some good insights on how to both do and not do ministry. I think the major thing that caught my attention, though, is the humor. Here are a few parts that either made me laugh out loud or made me think about the church in unconventional ways:

"Things were starting to get out of hand with the men, so I called a meeting and demanded that all of the men in our church attend. I preached for more than two hours about manhood and basically gave the dad talk to my men for looking at porno, sleeping witih young women, not serving Christ, not working hard at their jobs, and so on. I demanded that the men who were with me on our mission to change the city stay and that the rest leave the church and stop getting in the way....On their way out of that meeting, I handed each man two stones and told them that on this day God was giving them their balls back to get the courage to do kingdom work. Guys put them on their monitors at work or glued them to the dash of their truck and kept them like stones of remembrance from the Old Testament. The next week the offering doubled and the men caught fire. It was a surreal time, since I was basically fathering guys my own age and treating them more like a military unit than a church."

"We also began 'boot camps' for our young men, teaching them how to get a wife, have sex with that wife, get a job, budget money, buy a house, father a child, study the Bible, stop looking at porn, and brew decent beer."

"Next door to our church lived a very large, very loud, and very unpleasant woman. She went to another local church and often walked into our services to publicly cuss us all out. I nicknamed her 'the finger lady' because she often sat on her front porch giving our people the finger and calling them whores and bastards while they walked to the church, as she chain-smoked and perfected her self-induced Tourette's syndrome."

On having diarhhea and having to preach at four services in one day:
"Knowing that I had four services to preach and that each sermon lasted about an hour, I was feeling optimistic during the third service--until I crapped myself about fifteen minutes into the sermon and was left with a terrible dilemma. Do I finish the sermon and just not move much on the stage? Do I say something spiritual like the Holy Spirit just notified me that everyone is to break up into prayer groups, so I could sneak off and clean up the oil slick?
They don't cover this part of the job in seminary, and I was perplexed but chose to just keep going and finish the sermon, which took about another forty-five minutes, during which time I tried to breath out of my mouth to lessen the stench."

What I'm Reading

2007-06-21T14:26:00.000-07:00

Lately, I find myself with an abundance of books. Actually, it's a bit overwhelming at times.

What I'm Reading:
-Liberty For Latin America: How to Undo Five Hundred Years of State Oppression-by Alvaro Vargas Llosa
-Less Than Two Dollars a Day: A Christian View of World Povery and the Free Market-by Kent A. Van Til
-La Capital: The Biography of Mexico City-Jonathan Kandell
-Confession of a Reformation Rev: Hard Lessons From an Emerging Missional Church-Mark Driscoll

What I Hope to Conquer Next:
-Bobos in Paradise-David Brooks (This one's been on my list forever!)
-Opening Mexico: The Making of a Democracy-Julia Preston and Samuel Dillon

We'll see how much progress I make before I head to Mexico. I suspect I will not get all of them read.

Eric Volz Poem

2007-06-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem a few months ago after a letter from Eric Volz was released as a Myspace bulletin. I took quotes of Eric's and responded to them.

The Eric Volz Tragedy: As Observed From 2,855.8 Miles Away

“I live in my head.”

No you don’t, Eric; you live in La Modelo.
You live in steel and grime, horror and danger.
You live in barred freedom, a shrieking silence—
revelatory darkness that blinds the eyes of sanity.
You live tucked away in a neat corner of foreign affairs.
And you are not alone.

Developmental projects.
Concern for future generations.
Sustainability.
Profitability.
Rape?
Murder?

“The best analogy I have come across for being locked up here is that it's like being buried alive.”

There are numerous ways to suffocate
when the oxygen of autonomy is smothered.
Your body copes with sleep.
And sleep is a science—
in this case, a merciful escape from tragedy.
The gracious oasis of God in a barren scene.

“My spirits rise and fall.”

Because injustice billows!
The guilty, free. The innocent, jailed.
Racism abounds, even convicts.
And you are left to be tossed by the sea
of public belief and skepticism—
and hatred. For we are creatures of hate.

“I send my deepest and purest love to every person that reads these lines.”

Perhaps, you do live apart from La Modelo.
To be treated with such contempt by the country
that you call home, by the mother of your
former lover. And yet to express such compassion.
You inhabit another place.

Your soul is a hospital for the wounded.

David Brainerd quote

2007-05-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

"September 19, 1747. Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts turned thus: How infinitely sweet it is to love God, and be all for him! Upon which it was suggested to me, 'You are not an angel, not lively and active.' To which my whole soul immediately replied, 'I as sincerely desire to love and glorify God as any angel in heaven.' Upon which it was suggested again, 'But you are filthy, not fit for heaven.' Hereupon instantly appeared the blessed robe of Christ's righteousness, which I could not but exult and triumph in." -David Brainerd

"True Saints, When Absent from the Body, Are Present with the Lord"

2007-05-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

These quotes are from the sermon by Jonathan Edwards based on 2 Corinthians 5:8: "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." -2 Corinthians 5:8.

"And when the souls of the saints leave their bodies, to go to be with Christ, they behold the marvelous glory of that great work of his, the work of redemption, and of the glorious way of salvation by him; desire to look into. They have a most clear view of teh unfathomable depths of the manifold wisdom and knowledge of God; and the most b right displays of the infinite purity and holiness of God, that do appear in that way and work; and see in a much clearer manner than the saints do here, what is the breadth and length, and depth and height of the grace and love of Christ, appearing in his redemption. And as they see the unspeakable riches and glory of the attribute of God's grace, so they most clearly behold and understand Christ's eternal and unmeasurable dying love to them in particular. And in short, they see ever thing in Christ that tends to kindle and inflame love, and every thing that tends to gratify love, and every thing that tends to satisfy them: and that in the most clear and glorious manner, wihtout any darkness or delusion, without any impediment or interruption. Now the saints, while in the body, see something of Christ's glory and love; as we, in the dawning of the morning, see something of the reflected light of the sun mingled with darkness; but when separated from the body, they see their glorious and loving Redeemer, as we see the sun when risen, and showing his whole disk above the horizon, by his direct beams, in a clear hemisphere, and with perfect day."

"...the souls of departed saints with Christ in heaven, shall ahve Christ as it were unbosomed unto them, manifesting those infinite riches of love towards them, that have been there from eternity; and they shall be enabled to express their love to him, in an infinitely better manner than ever they could while in the body. Thus they shall eat and drink abundantly, and swim in teh ocean of love, and be eternally swallowed up in teh infinitely bright, and infinitely mild and sweet beams of divine love; eternally receiving that light, eternally full of it, and eternally compassed round with it, and everlastingly reflecting it back again to the fountain of it."

The Subway is a Creepy Place for Sex.

2007-05-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

By Jared Weatherholtz

(I was in the subway and I saw a couple making out.)
The subway is a creepy place for sex.

Stumbling fingers reach to strip bodies of
damp shirts. Heated grasps stretch for
weighty satisfaction—a means to an end. Pumping breasts
cannot find a common beat—don’t care to find
a common beat. One pulse chases another in a personal race
for communal pleasure. He will not stop until he has had
his fill. She will not stop until she has had her
unquenchable desires chipped away at. She will be back for more. He will
hunger again. I am always hungry.
The subway is a creepy place for sex. Tell that to the couple making out up front.

Guilt is not an honest way to make a wage. What sorry mother neglected to tell her daughter that? She left a 12-pack of basic Crayola Crayons in my lap. I stared down at the small, pleasant box from outside of my body. I felt connected. I could not be heartless and refuse to pay the old, misguided lady. After all, her mother forgot to teach her the basics: don’t put out until they pay. Or maybe she’d fooled us all: put out until they pay. The subway is the perfect place for life lessons.

A man prepares his blanket like a Japanese wife—submissive and honorable, kneeling to show respect. He lets each corner fall to its particular side from the center hold, straightening the fabric with the palms of his hands—carefully, so as not to disturb the shards. He lets out a warrior’s cry and begins the ritual beating, a self-inflicted pain for the pleasure of the world. (We are so fucked up.) The dance is rhythmic and smooth, contrasting with the heinous cuts he is inflicting. His torso swivels and strikes, swivels and strikes the green broken glass of the blanket. His back begins to bleed, small gashes like new coats of paint on the scars of old walls. He has no face, and no legs—only a bloody torso that cries poverty. The subway is the perfect place for tragedy.

This place is a dichotomy. I have never felt so alive in a landscape of death.
Steel structures and aged concrete make this jungle a vacuum.
Truth be told, I would go crazy being in here for too long.
And sometimes, at 2am, on my route home, I feel the palms of insanity massaging my column, creeping toward my cerebrum.
But on the landscape of death are lived the lives of thousands, no, millions of art’s master characters. Beauty is never more accentuated than when juxtaposed with its counterpart. Tonight I know that steel and concrete are great hosts of life. The subway is the perfect place for romance.

I am hungry.

To Frida (on repentance)

2007-05-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

By Jared Weatherholtz
This is a response to "To Diego (on sorrow)" which is posted in my blog history.

To Frida (on repentance)

Mi vida,
El monstruo soy yo,
¡de verdad!,
con un apetito que nunca cesa.

I have always seen myself in my murals, and shuttered.
I am pregnant with guilt, writhing under your love,
bearing flowers of peace to my smiling wife.
I am weighed down by my own lusts.
Driven down!
I cannot get up, Frida!
I cannot get up.

You were a welcome babe in an ancient world,
the innocence and vigor of my life.
You are a bloody, beating heart among sharpening stones,
a martyr at my own hands.
You cover my infidelities in a pool of red,
and I rest—
while you writhe.
El monstruo soy yo.

We are the entire history of Mexico!
The revolution flowed from our love,
the people’s passion from our very bosoms.
In La Chingada, I painted you with a look of unbelief.
The tension of my body falling powerfully on yours
as I had my way is all too real for me now.
They say we cannot escape heritage,
and I have sealed ours in disloyalty.

I find myself kneeling reverently before a bed of carnations.
My people and your love are the only gods I have ever known.
But these flowers are my shrine.
Their beauty binds, enslaves.
Their shape is my best friend,
who has torn trust and thrown it to the diseased dogs on the street.
You are the innocent victim of an imperialist regime.

The monstrosity I am!
Yo soy el monstruo.

But, mi vida, don’t forget us.

I am you,
Friday. You
are me.

L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E Poetry

2007-05-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

Poetry for the truly postmodern.

"On Gifts for Grace"
By Bernadette Mayer

I saw a great teapot.
I wanted to get you this stupendous
100% cotton royal blue and black checked shirt,
There was a red and black striped one too
Then I saw these boots at a place called Chuckles
They laced up to about two inches above your ankles
All leather and in red, black or purple
It was hard to have no money today
I won't even speak about the possible flowers and kinds of lingerie
All linen and silk with not-yet-perfumed laces
Brilliant enough for any of the Graces
Full of luxury, grace notes, prosperousness and charm
But I can only praise you with this poem--
It's being is the same as the meaning of your name

The Jesus Videos

2007-04-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, I realize that I am VERY late in discovering these, but they are too funny not to post.

Poetry happens...

2007-04-26T12:56:00.000-07:00

...like an accident, a mugging, a love affair, a crime; it happens every day, when, alone, a man's heart begins to think about life.

-Jaime Sabines

Free Grace.--Rom.iii.24; 1 Cor. xv.10; 1 Tim. i.14

2007-04-16T21:59:00.000-07:00

Radford (?)

Self-righteous souls on works rely,
And boast their moral dignity;
But if I lisp a song of praise,
Each note shall echo, Grace, free grace!

'Twas grace that quickened me when dead;
'Twas grace my soul to Jesus led;
Grace brings a sense of pardoned sin,
And grace subdues my lusts within.

Grace reconciles to every loss,
And sweetens every painful cross;
Defends my soul when danger's near;
By grace alone I persevere.

When from this world my soul removes
To mansions of delight and love,
I'll cast my crown before his throne,
And shout, Free grace, free grace alone!

Gustavo Perez Firmat quote

2007-04-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

In researching for my thesis, I've come to love Gustavo Perez Firmat, a professor, literary critic, and author who was exiled from Cuba to the U.S. as a child. Aside from caring about the experience of living between two cultures (which is simply fascinating), the man loves books. Here's a quote that validates and feeds my desire to build a personal library.

"el que tenga 2500 libros en casa no quiere decir que los haya leído. Me gusta comprar libros que nunca tendré la oportunidad, ni siquiera las ganas, de leer. Siempre he creído que la compañía de un libro puede ser tan beneficiosa como su lectura. "

"Having a library of 2,500 books in my house doesn't mean that I have read them all. I like to buy books that I'll never have the opportunity, nor the desire, to read. I have always believed that the company of a book can be as beneficial as reading it."

quote on justification by faith alone

2007-04-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

This is an excerpt from Martin Luther's On Chrisitan Liberty, a fantastic little book explorating the doctrine of justification by faith alone that you should go buy if you don't already have it.

"The third incomparable benefit of faith is that it unites the soul with Christ as a bride is united with her bridegroom. By this mystery, as the Apostle teaches, Christ and the soul become one flesh [Eph. 5:31-32]. And if they are one flesh and there is between them a true marriage--indeed the most perfect of all marriages, since human marriages are but poor examples of this one true marriage--it follows that everything they have they hold in common, the good as well as the evil. Accordingly the believing soul can boast of and glorify in whatever Christ has as though it were its own, and whatever the soul has Christ claims as his own. Let us compare these and we shall see inestimable benefits. Christ is full of grace, life, and salvation. The soul is full of sins, death, and damnation. Now let faith come between them and sins, death, and damnation will be Christ's, while grace, life, and salvation will be the soul's; for if Christ is a bridegroom, he must take upon himself the things which are his bride's and bestow upon her the things that are his. If he gives her his body and very self, how shall he not give her all that is his? And if he takes the body of the bride, how shall he not take all that is hers?

A Palm Sunday Post

2007-04-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

"In the Cross of Christ I Glory"
Words by John Browning

In the cross of Christ I glory,
Towering o'er the wrecks of time.
All the light of sacred story,
Gathers round its head sublime.

Eric Volz

2007-03-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

You may have heard about a man named Eric Volz who has been unjustly sentenced to 30 years in prison in Nicaragua. Eric was born and raised in Nashville and, after earning a degree in Latin American Studies in California, moved to Nicaragua to work as an editor for EP magazine. His ex-girlfriend was recently killed 2 hours from where 10 witnesses say that Eric was. However, Eric has been tried and convicted of the murder. The judge threw out all testimonies placing Eric 2 hours away from the murder and convicted Eric with no evidence linking him in any way to the crime.

This was all just a story to me until I found out that Eric's stepfather recently resigned from his position as Dean of Students at Belmont University. After seeing photos of Eric's parents, I realized that I actually went to their house as an entering freshman. The students were broken down into small groups and we all went to visit a faculty member's house. I remember being very encouraged by Eric's parents' comments about the Belmont Spanish Department. I also remember them talking about their son who had studied Latin American Studies in California. We are connected to this.

Please pray for this terrible injustice. Please research this more at these websites:
www.myspace.com/freeericvolz
http://www.friendsofericvolz.com

If you don't know who this man is, you need to...

2007-03-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

Francis Shaeffer is well-known for his philosophical and theological thought, his teachings on connecting faith and culture, and the establishment of L'Abri Fellowship, a welcoming retreat-type set-up where people can come to seek honest answers about faith and Christianity. This article is a great introduction to the strides of Shaeffer to spread a thinking, weeping Christianity.

The Three Amigos?

2007-03-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

I just found out that Che Guevara and Fidel Castro had a very close friend named Mario Chanes de Armas who accompanied them in early Revolution talks and activities. This obituary is a glimpse into the Castro regime and the tragedy of crossing a dictator. It is also an interesting gauge of the transformation of the Cuban Revolution from a democratic ideal for the people to a Communist push for dictatorial power.

A Post-Ecuador Thought

2007-03-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

We are far too comfortable.

Mexico City Pics

2007-02-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my friend Trey for sending me this link to some incredible (and overwhelming!) pics of Mexico City, where I will spend the next two years of my life!

http://www.mustangevolution.com/forum/t26103
(scroll down cause the first pics are a little weird)

How to Kill a Chicken (Mother to Daughter)

2007-02-20T13:03:00.000-08:00

By Jared Weatherholtz

Ain’t no shame in killin’
for the sake o’ sustenance.
We gotta eat, baby,
and this here farm
is our supply.

So go out back behind the shed,
and corner Lucy at the edge of the fence.
I know she’s your favorite, baby,
but we raised her for food.
Ain’t no animal deserves life over humans.

So say your goodbyes to Lucy,
and when ya through,
pick her up gently,
just like when you pet
her to calm her nerves in thunderstorms.

Make your way to the
Bloody Stump,
stretch her neck taut
over the splintered surface,
close your eyes,

And swing. Swing hard, baby, and swift.
And turn your head, cause bloods a’gonna spurt.
But we gotta eat, baby. Remember that.
We gotta eat.

When the body falls to the ground,
Lucy’s gonna raise cane, baby.
I mean, she’s gonna run ‘round with no head on.
But don’t worry, cause Lucy’s gone then.
She don’t feel no pain.

That’s just her spirit, makin’ one final lap.
Lucy’s lived a good life, baby.
Most chicken’s don’t have half of what she has.
But a family’s gotta eat.
And you gotta learn to be a woman.

New Poems

2007-02-17T14:29:00.000-08:00

I recently watched the movie Frida about the life of Mexican painter/feminist/politician Frida Kahlo. I can't stop thinking about the tragedy involved in this woman's dealings with life, love and art. These poems are the outcome of those thoughts. I hope you enjoy.

It was just a fuck. I've given more affection in a handshake.
–Diego Rivera

To Diego (on sorrow)

¡La cogiste!
My God, Diego,
anyone but my sister!
¡La cogiste!

I am a vessel, used and tragically tied to my loss.
Married to inconsistency.
Shackled to sorrow.
Subdued by abortion.
And there is nothing you can do now to make it all seem right.

So I will hack the blackness,
And shape feminine growth,
Into emasculated pride.
A statement of what was and what is.

It's like the accident all over again,
A steel rod is shoved through my back,
And takes my virginity.
Oh, how I wanted it to be yours!

I am a wounded deer. A running, wounded deer.
The arrows are all women that have no faces,
Only perfume that rubs off in the act of crashing.
I thought you would stop with them. With loyalty!

I am the sister of a whore.
You were you,
And she was she.
But now you are an adulterous one.

I am the sister of a goddess.
Whose very heart rushes blood through my veins.
And spurts stains on my white dress.
I could not live but for her. I could not die but for her.

I am a stark Roman column!
Who has found hope in the bodies of other men (and women)!
Who has weathered the rains of tragedy, and pain, and loss,
And refuses to shed a single hope to the disappointment of nature!

You are not I,
And I am not You,
Yet when I find me, I
Am hopelessly entangled in us.

La cogiste.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Frida Kahlo
(as played by Selma Hayek)

This corpse is still breathing.

Tragedy, pure tragedy, does not strike often.
And if it does, it runs like a demon cast out by the Lord himself,
to find the next innocent victim.
I, however, have a history of such demons.
They nest in my bones,
caress my very column with the arousing fingers of death.

This corpse is still healing.

Diego says my scar is immaculate.
It runs from the small of my back,
around the hip and into my garden.
I told the doctors that the pipe stole my virginity.
It’s not true though. I was fucking boys in my closet a year before the accident.

This corpse is still lusting.

There’s really no beauty like that of the female body.
To have breasts--big, weighty breasts--is to have honey,
That all the gods want and need.
Even the goddesses want to drink from my supply.

This corpse is still needing.

Diego is my sustenance
in a dying world--my dying world.
To be with him is to sup--
to dine with God in art and passion and sex.

This corpse is still leaving.

I painted myself in a mirror today.
I looked proud like the Romans.
My eyebrows grown together like the wings of a sparrow.
One day they’ll carry me away, away from this tragedy.

This corpse is still breathing.

Screwtape Letters movie and more

2007-02-16T06:52:00.000-08:00

Check out the second half of this article for the 411 on a possible C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters movie, Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life in movie form (comparitive to Crash somehow, wtf), and some interesting thoughts on the Christmas film release The Nativity.

http://www.infuzemag.com/interviews/archives/2007/02/ralph_winter.html

Checkenlo!

Women Missionaries in India Beaten

2007-02-07T13:45:00.000-08:00

I can't help but think about the fallen state of our world as I read this news I received by email from the organization Gospel for Asia.

It's hard to really sympathize with the persecuted church. I think it's because we can't really imagine what it must be like. I mean, we hear about it plenty. We say it's tragic. But we really don't feel the sorrow of the weight of Christ's church being persecuted.

I think for me, the fact that those being persecuted were women really helped me to see the injustice of persecution for what it is.

Anyway, this is mainly just to post the article. I just started writing some of my thoughts.

An Elegy to My Best Friend

2007-01-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

Jared Weatherholtz

It’s been almost six months since you left. The vibrant sting of newness has stranded me with a numb gap and a bent towards filling that space with something—anything. You see, you were my best friend. And, at least I hope, you still are. But when you forsook what meant so much to me and what we both thought meant so much to you, things changed. With the air of assurance and promise left life and eternity and hope.

At first, a mix of misunderstood emotions clamored for my attention. Of the more prominent and implicit feelings were anger and sadness—anger that you had left me alone and sadness that you were gone. I was mad. No, I am mad. I’m mad that you forsook what you knew and trusted in. I’m mad that I am left with no source of comfort or support, except of course the One you kissed. But here in this shell I am left to cry and flare and wonder at your death. At the pronouncement, I almost didn’t take it seriously. It was announced with such life that it seemed impossible. I wanted to laugh it off and be the same. But the only life left in you was a memory and a relic.

Did it hurt? Did it hurt to know that I would know? I hope so. I hope you dreaded the day I would know. After all, that’s the true test of friendship isn’t it—for you to care if I knew? I think you hated the day I would find out. I think caring about that day almost changed the history of your life. I think it almost made you hang on. But I’ll never know. I can only hope that I meant enough to you to almost change your mind, because, obviously, I didn’t mean enough to you to truly change your mind.

But isn’t that how life goes? Only the individual in question can really have the final say in his life—and God. As for God, the questions that used to be offered to him have now turned to pleading. On a regular basis, and I desire that it might be more frequent, I pray for you. I pray that God might bring you back to life. I want him to give you the life we thought you had before. Some may be skeptics. But isn’t that what all of the living have to be thankful for, being brought to life from the dead? I pray that God would bring you back to life. O God, bring Brandon back to life! I can’t stand the phone calls knowing that you’re gone.

Cholulandia

2007-01-18T20:30:00.000-08:00

By Jared Weatherholtz

Metal clanks with metal as the handle turns and stops,
The door swings and the box is unleashed. I am unleashed.
The chill of a morning just born has my body hair at attention,
And I can honestly say there is nowhere I’d rather be.

Mornings in Mexico catapult a man into life,
He doesn’t need the comfort of fancy cars and big houses,
What he needs is the chill of high altitude, a horizon of ancestry,
And a street full of vibrant life that cannot be conquered.

My yellow Veloci is steel. Stainless Steel. And she’s a real beaut.
As I straddle her, I can’t help but remember how we’ve been there for each other,
When she is hurt, I mend her (or at least take her to Jorge who mends her),
And when I am hurt, she carries me through beauty that salts my wounds, and kisses.

Aztecs perform sacred rituals on Popocatepetl and Iztaccihuatl,
Or at least they did a thousand years ago,
But I’m pretty sure they still bury dogs over there,
To keep their children company.

But what I see this morning is a silhouette of perfection,
The chill paints a veil for the volcano, gilding the lifeless warrior,
Connected houses painted pink and yellow and blue blur past,
I have never felt so free, so free to live and to work. And to ride.

Poverty abounds. It’s not swelled-stomach-poverty,
It’s more like I-make-six-dollars-a-day-and-can-barely-feed-my-kids poverty,
Somehow the bare-foot woman selling seeds and nuts missed the message,
The look in her eyes says she’s content. Maybe it’s the morning air. Maybe it’s not.

["I like your handsome drugs. Your pleasant..."]

2007-01-15T21:18:00.000-08:00

By Joshua Beckman

I like your handsome drugs. Your pleasant
drugs. You frozen fingernails. Your painted
fingernails. That man screamed out. "The
karate chop of love," before tackling that woman.
The breeze. Your sort of quiet happy voices.
The karate chop of love. Your handsome drugs.
If you, in all your sexiness, could just bring that
over here. A barrel of fried chicken. That girl
named Katie. A birthday party. Yeah. I go
running in, all ready to show everyone the
karate chop of love. And that girl named Katie.
A barrel of chicken. The breeze. This
birthday party is fucked without the karate
chop of love. Your handsome drugs.

Identity Theft

2007-01-12T06:55:00.000-08:00

My Spanish professor recently had her identity stolen! How crazy is that? She is Spanish (i.e. actually from Spain, not Mexico). Before teaching here in Nashville, she taught in the Spanish department in a university in Cincinnati. One of her ex-colleagues (and now ex-friends!) apparently had access to all the teachers' social security numbers. So, he stole a bunch of them, her's included, and sold them to the Mexican Mofia to traffic immigrants into the U.S. The crazy thing is that he is Colombian. So, here you have this immigrant who steals a fellow immigrant's (my teacher's) identity. Lame. Luckily they caught the guy and he is going to jail.

My teacher's thoughts: "Frankly, I hope he spends a long, long time in jail."

Justice.

Yo shawty, I'm from da south cadillac!

2006-12-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

So, this http://www.urbandictionary.com is pretty much the coolest thing i've ever seen.

The reason?

You find out stuff like this http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=south+cadillac.

2 of my favs...

2006-12-22T14:14:00.000-08:00

These are two of my favorite songs as of late.

"Jesus Christ" by Brand New--this song has brilliant insights

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you're coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
And we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine.

"Monring Yearning" by Ben Harper

My fingers touch upon my lips
It’s a morning yearning
It’s a morning yearning
Pull the curtains shut try to keep it dark
But the sun is burning The sun is burning
The world awakens on the run
And we’ll soon be earning We’ll soon be earning
With hopes of better days to come
That’s a morning yearning Morning yearning Morning yearning…

Another day another chance to get it right
Must I still be learning?
Must I still be learning?
Baby crying kept us up all night
With her morning yearning
With her morning yearning Morning yearning…

Like a summer rose I’m a victim of the fall
But am soon returning
Soon returning
You’re love’s the warmest place the sun ever shines
My morning yearning
My morning yearning
Morning yearning…